Posted in Uncategorized

It’s All About Perspective

Posted on by Spring

One day I was asked what it was about Charles that first attracted him to me? 

Since it is no secret we met on eHarmony, one of the profile questions at the time said to list 5 things you were thankful for and on his list was “my health.”

I would later hear a message Charles had given in which he talked about the “blessings” of life. Instead of being upset he could no longer breathe on his own, he was thankful God provided a ventilator. Instead of being upset he could no longer walk on his own, he was thankful God provided a wheelchair. And the list goes on. 

I don’t know about you but that perspective and view of life totally rocked my world! What do you mean, you are thankful for “your health” when you have Duchenne Muscular Dystrophy and are completely dependent and have lost total control of all your muscles? What do you mean you are thankful for a ventilator when you are in respiratory failure and will never again breathe on your own? 

His perspective changed me. His perspective challenged me. His perspective still challenges me today. 

One of my dearest friends who walked closely with me through my journey through grief more so than anyone else in my life other than family always made me, in those darkest of dark moments, always had me tell her 3 things that I was most thankful for. To stop your mind from the downward spiral and stop and think of things to be thankful for ….changes your perspective. The dark never seemed so dark once the list was produced. 

The Bible is full of life altering and challenging perspectives. Just to name a few:

“So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but what is unseen for what is seen is temporary and what is unseen is eternal.” 2 Cor 4:19

“I don’t say this out of need, for I have learned to be content in whatever circumstances I am.” Phil 4:11

“Now we who are strong have an obligation to bear the weaknesses of those without strength, and not to please ourselves.” Romans 15:1

“But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you.” Matthew 5:44

So much of our life falls out of balance when we look at our life and everything around us the way that the world wants for us to. But when we seek His perspectives in the manner that He has laid out for us in scripture – through a heavenly lens it will forever change our lives. 

In my own life I can choose to be upset that I have lost Charles or I can be thankful that he knew the Lord and is in Heaven and healed and whole. 

I can choose to be upset that I no longer have his support and his guidance and love or I can be thankful that God has given me such a wonderful and loving family, and an incredible husband to be there for me since he has been gone. 

I can choose to be upset that I have no idea what the future holds or I can be thankful that I know who holds the future. 

I can choose to be upset that my children will grow up not knowing their amazing dad, or I can be thankful that God has given me such an amazing gift of joy so that I wouldn’t be alone and a new daddy to help lead, guide, direct and raise them.

And there are a million more. 

My question for you is – what perspectives do you need to change? 

When we see life as God would have us to see it – when we are thankful for what He has given us, as Charles was, instead of what we don’t have, it will change our life. It will grow us closer to the Lord and to each other. 

We need to stop looking at the world around us as the world tells us to and start looking at the world around us the way God intends for us to.

It’s all about perspective. 

It’s all about having a Godly perspective.

Posted in Uncategorized

The Parenting Journey

Posted on by Spring

I am by no means a perfect parent or believe that I have anything to offer in the world of advice and therefore this blog is not advice. It’s just a sharing of a lessons in the middle of me learning them. They are lessons I want to jot down for myself, so I don’t forget.

My latest two parenting epiphanies in this current stage we are in of 3 – 7 year olds and a 9 year old – is to first say yes when possible. Or in other words, don’t say “no” just to say “no”. And most recently – is to allow, encourage and promote the small things that bring great joy.

Hmmmm so what does that really mean? I think several months ago I found myself realizing that in an “innocent” attempt to control the chaos of 4 kids – I was constantly saying “no” to what seemed like everything I was asked. I’m trying to think of an example to share but nothing is really specifically coming to mind. But I was like, am I saying “no” just because or is there a real reason? We have some super great and creative kids. They love to be wild and crazy and they come up with some super creative plans and crafts and games. A lot of times I think my “nos” were stifling their creativity though. So now, I really try and think through it. Am I saying “no” because it’s inconvenient for me or because it really wouldn’t be in their best interest. (And sometimes it’s a ”no” because they are destroying the house with their “creativity.”) Sometimes these “nos” were even just them asking to do something with me? “Mom, can you paint my toenails.” “Mom, can you come watch our karate moves upstairs.” “Mom, can you come find us in our hiding places.” Or “Mom, can I crack the eggs this time?” It’s sad that I don’t always say yes to these things and yes, sometimes I am tired or cooking or it’s just not the right time but these moments don’t last forever. So even though we may not have a “yes day” as the kids beg for and tell me the first thing they would ask for is my debit card – hopefully there have been a lot more yes’s in their life from me then there were a few months ago.

And now…. It’s the joy of small things. Just recently C discovered a can of reddi whip in our refrigerator. He was so excited about all the possibilities of using reddi whip and even just squirting it in his mouth. Unfortunately, the can was expired – like waaaaaay expired (even though I don’t think we had had it very long) so I had to throw it out. But on the next grocery order, I got him another can of reddi whip. It’s a small price to pay for so much 7 year old joy. And a couple of days ago we were washing our dog outside in her little portable tub we use. L&B were helping me and having the best time. But then they wanted to be squirted with the water hose. They were in their bathing suits and having the best time. We finished with the dog and as I was about to take her in, they had been discussing filling the little pool with water and I told them “no” because it was dirty. But when I returned from taking the dog in, they had of course done just that very thing. Yes, they were disobedient, and we did talk about that – but they had so much joy in playing in that super small little pool. The laughter and fun was just so much joy over such a small thing. In that moment, I felt that it was more important to let them have all that fun, and just let it go. Small things that had a huge win for joy and just enjoying life and being a kid.

Parenting is definitely a struggle nearly every day. Just with navigating the how tos and trying to figure out what is best and how to lead, guide and teach them. Even when you have great kids! But so much of the journey is about us as parents and how we depend on the Lord to show us, change us and help us see things through His lens. And that is my prayer, that God will continue to guide and mold and shape me, as I continue to guide and lead them.

Posted in Uncategorized

The Anchor

Posted on by Spring

In order to realize the worth of the anchor, we need to feel the stress of the storm.” Corrie Ten Boom

“We have this hope as an anchor for the soul, firm and secure. It enters the inner sanctuary behind the curtain where our forerunner, Jesus has entered on our behalf.” Hebrews 6:19-20a

Posted in hope, salvation, Uncategorized

Life is Hard but there IS Hope

Posted on by Spring

I wrote this a couple of years ago and recently came across it again. I have seen so much suffering lately. It was a really good reminder for me and maybe you need it too 🙂

Life is hard.

At just the young age of 6 my grandmother who was dying of colon cancer moved into our house and into my room on a hospital bed while she was on hospice. Every day I watched her get worse and worse and the reality of life and death became very real for me.

After many moves throughout elementary school, and another new “restart” as I began 7th grade I was flown home from youth camp in Florida for my Dad’s emergency triple by pass surgery. Things didn’t go well and for the next year, my life was not the same as he recovered.

Then I traveled on mission trips around the world with team members I did not know. I found myself on an old rickety bus, driving on dirt roads weaving around tall mountains in the middle of no where in the Andes mountains on the border between Bolivia and Argentina. No one could help me. Things were totally out of my control. It was dangerous.

One of my best childhood friends was killed in a car accident the day before her 17th birthday. I was at the hospital doing clinicals and met the driver that hit her.

I married Charles who had a terminal diagnosis. Over the course of 5 years due to circumstances completely out of our control, everything that helped us live and survive life slowly was taken away. Everything that he had worked for in the world of business was lost, his health began to fail until he ultimately died suddenly of something that no one ever expected or could have been prepared for.

Life as a widow with two one-year old twins in the middle of losing everything, multiple moves and restarting your life and having to move states, was hard.

Life is hard.

Though I know my story of hardship is not unique to me and others have suffered so much more – the point is – we ALL have stories of hardship, just different circumstances.

Our entire world is groaning with hardship right now.

But after growing up in a home surrounded by my parents who lived each and every day for Jesus Christ – I knew early on that this “Jesus” they knew was someone I wanted to know too. So when a special speaker came to our church and shared a story of his own life of unbelievable hardship and his attempt at figuring out life through everything that the world had to offer to find peace – but he could never find it – it was only Jesus. I knew, there was no reason to pursue that peace from anything else other than Jesus, myself.

In that moment, I asked Jesus to come into my life. I knew I had been disobedient to God and because of that, without God’s forgiveness I was separated from Him. I wanted to be with Him. I wanted Him to guide my life and give me purpose just as I had seen Him do for my parents.

One day when I was a nursing professor – I asked my students what hope was and what did they hope in. One of my students quickly chimed in that her hope was in the fact that “there was always hope for a better tomorrow.”

I am thankful that my hope is not just that I hope tomorrow is a better tomorrow than today. I am thankful that I have hope. And the Hope is with me, walking beside me and guiding my way. My hope is found in nothing less that Jesus Christ. He is the same yesterday, today and tomorrow. I know that this life is not all that life is about. That there is life beyond this here and now. There is life beyond all the suffering and hardship of life. I know that He uses our suffering for His purposes and our good. I know there is purpose in the pain. I know that I have a Savior who loves me and wants what is best for me. I know there is hope of heaven without any doubt.

Life is hard. It’s really hard. But with Jesus – He makes it all possible.

Do you know Him? Maybe you know of Him. Maybe you know about Him. But do you know Him? Is He your Savior? His sacrifice and resurrection that we reflect upon and celebrate this weekend was all for you. He took your place so that you wouldn’t have to be separated from God. But you have to know Him. Jesus forever changed my life and He can change yours as well. There is no other possible way I could have made it through this life without Him.

#JesusChangedMyLife

“When we rejoice in our sufferings, we have hope in spite of pain.”

– Ruth Chou Simons

Quote• Posted on by Spring
Posted in Uncategorized

The Story Behind the Picture

Posted on by Spring

The Story Behind the Picture and Simple Lessons Learned in Marriage

This may look like a beautiful picture of a family having a blast rafting down the Pigeon Forge River in the Smoky Mountains

And it is.

But what is unseen is the huge and contentious “conversation” about planning this rafting trip that imploded in less than 30 seconds. It involved a tense conversation, a lot of misunderstanding and an almost called off family vacation. Because Byron said, “We are going rafting!” And I was saying, “No, we are not!”

When Byron mentioned that we were going to go on a rafting trip – I immediately envisioned the white water rafting trip of my childhood in Colorado and instantly saw all of our 4 kids being thrown out of the raft and floating down the river without us. I was adamantly against it. Byron was adamantly for it because he envisioned an amazing fun filled family adventure that I was not going to stop the kids from having.

Byron admits he should have probably known I would have responded the way I did without further details of what the rafting trip would involve, but my response took him totally off guard.

It left us at a very difficult crossroads. I didn’t feel that he was listening to my “motherly instinct” concerns and he thought my concerns were “foolish and would be needlessly preventing the family from having a whole lot of fun.”

It’s obvious who ultimately “won” the “conversation” and I wish I had some simple step by step process we followed to get to where we got to but I honestly don’t remember.

But there were a few takeaways to share –

From Spring:
   ⁃    It is true that sometimes our motherly instincts are a bit dramatic but they do need to be heard and taken seriously and not just “listened to.” Just listening to our concerns, isn’t helping us work through them. What we really need is our concerns discussed and worked through.
   ⁃    Before I have a reaction and response, I really need to do my research. I am a super fearful person and a lot of my fears are valid concerns, but in this instance they were not.
   ⁃    I need to be able to effectively communicate my fears so that they can be discussed in a reasonable way and addressed together as a couple.
   ⁃    Nothing is worth a break down in your marriage – especially something like what to do on a family vacation.
   ⁃    I’m super thankful for the family memories – the kids had a blast for sure – but I also see this picture and it brings great sadness for the story behind it but also great triumph that we overcame.
   ⁃    I wanted to marry someone that was different than me and a lot more fearless so that my kids would grow up without a fear filled childhood and be able to do the fun things that I was too scared to let them do – and I need to remember that!

From Byron:
   ⁃    Know your spouse. Remember your spouse is well intentioned, they love you and evaluate why they are saying what they are saying through that lens. If things are heating up, I need to stop and ask myself -“what is really going on here and what do we need to do to figure it out?”

Marriage takes a lot of work, especially in the area of communication. When Byron and I were discussing the raft trip, He was trying to figure out, “Why doesn’t she want our kids to have fun?” and I was thinking, “Why would he want all of our kids to drown?” Neither of us was helping the other one constructively see what our concerns were.

When we are tired and stressed and busy, it’s the small things that can easily take an unexpected turn and get us heading in the wrong direction! We just need to slow down, put our feelings aside and have patience with one another in how whatever is being discussed is making us feel and why – so that together – we can work it out!

Posted in hope

Welcome to Brokenness Restored

Posted on by Spring

Thank you for visiting. I’m assuming you are new here, because well, the website is new 🙂 It’s Byron and I’s hope that as we share our story that you can be encouraged in your faith and walk with Christ. Come along for the journey in the days, weeks and months ahead. Life isn’t easy. It’s full of challenges and trials and suffering. We are tempted and torn. But if we encourage one another in the faith, we are often so much stronger. Read our story and share your story and may we all remember that no matter what comes our way, it’s ultimately God’s story that He will use for His glory!